I stand corrected...

   We live in a condo with a spectacular view. I mean, we haven't even hung any art in the main living area because the view is so amazing, no one would look at the art anyway. But I am telling you, when the windows get dirty from a rain storm, or just from dust floating around eight stories up, it can really be distracting.

   Lou and I are expecting an extra special guest for the night tonight, and so we both woke up early, ready to tackle any little projects around the condo to make it "guest-ready." I wanted to get to the windows very badly, but it takes so long to do them, so I just hoped that maybe I was the only one who noticed how terrible they look. But I was wrong. Even Lou - the guy who doesn't notice when he gets egg yoke drippings on the countertop when making an egg sandwich, and the guy who can step over five pairs of shoes to get into his closet without ever thinking maybe he should put a pair or two away - noticed how bad the windows looked. He said, "You gonna get the windows done today?"

   When I told him I'm not on the window washing rotation for the building anymore, he then said something that nearly knocked me over. He said, "I can do it." My initial reaction was certainly surprise. But after it all computed in my head, I seriously hesitated to accept the offer and encourage this window washing "event" Lou was proposing. I know him. He is sort of a "get-er-done" kind of cleaner. He doesn't worry about the tiny details, and he is seldom known for his great ability to clean thoroughly - which is how I approach all cleaning projects. So my fear was that the windows would actually look worse if he did them then if I left them alone. But shockingly, he wasn't asking me if he could do a cleaning project - he was telling me!

   The next thing you know, Lou is up on a ladder with a bucket of window washing water and a super wide squeegee with little white utility towel tucked into the waistband of his workout shorts. I held my breath a little as I watched him make the first climb up the ladder. His knee is bad and his lower back has been bothering him, so the thought of him taking a tumble had me nervous. And then, when I watched him slosh the first splash of water onto the window, I thought, "Oh dear..." All the dirty water from the washing wand kind of splattered all over the porch, and I was just sure this would end with more mess than I bargained for. But my higher self kept saying, "You need to let him do things his way. He might not do it exactly like you do it, but he will get it done. Now leave him to his work."

   So I did. And as I bumped around the condo, finishing up my last minute jobs, I could hear him moving the ladder around, and I was aware of the loud squeegee squeaks as he would drag the rubber rib down the long windows. I checked around the corner every few minutes or so to make sure he didn't fall off the ladder, and each time I did, I couldn't help but notice how AMAZING the windows were looking. Each check revealed not only pristine, sparkling clean glass, but I actually saw my husband toweling off the porch tiles under the windows every time he moved the ladder! I was in shock - for the second time today!

   Now, as I post this entry, I have to say that I totally stand corrected. Lou not only did a better job than I have ever done on the windows (using my painfully careful method of washing the windows in small sections and wiping with two different types of towels), he finished in literally half the time I expected. It is amazing what Lou did! Amazing!

   So I feel truly humbled by the events of this cleaning experience this morning, and I also feel proud of Lou. He did such a good job, and I must say, I think I need to trust him more with projects like this. In fact, I think for the first time in our six year marriage, I actually might be able to trust him with a Honey-Do cleaning list! This is fantastic news! I can't wait to tell Lou! (I'm sure this news will go over really well, don't you think?)

I've Arrived! (Sort of...)

    Today is kind of a special day in the life of author Sonja Bentley Zant. You see, today, I actually visited my novel, Hurricane Season, on the shelves of a very big, very well-known bookstore! Today, my book could be found on the shelves of Barnes & Noble Booksellers!* 

   To some people, this may not seem like a big deal, but to me, it's the biggest! For years, I've wandered up and down the rows of books featured in the Fiction & Literature section of B&N, looking at the names of countless authors. And ever since I published my book, I've wanted to know how it feels to be in a major bookstore, with all of the important authors of my genre. In a way, it is sort of one of those moments in my life where I feel like the thing I really wanted to have happen to me has happened, and now I feel like I can keep pushing and looking for more great things to come my way. It is a milestone event for me, and one I will always treasure. I hope I never forget this amazing feeling. It is a kind of humbling, thrilling, I-hope-it-never-ends kind of feeling! Yipppeee! (Mom, I hope you can see this!!)

*By the way, I've only kind of arrived because as of right now, I'm only on the shelves of B&N in Sarasota, Florida - but it's still a start!! ;o)

Minty Clean

   My husband is easily impressed. He loves a good gimmick or when there is a story behind something that makes it uniquely different or special. So when he came home with a new toothbrush with a built in timer in the handle, I sort of rolled my eyes and smiled. He bought it because the box said that the reason people have so much plaque on their teeth is because they don't brush long enough. Whatever...

   But after he brushed with the timer toothbrush for a coupe of days, he was just bragging on and on about how fresh his mouth felt - even hours after brushing. Still, I had to wonder if this was just the power of suggestion at work on my adorable and incredibly optimistic husband or if he was speaking truth. BUT then, he went to the dentist for his regularly scheduled cleaning, and his hygienist told him that he had the cleanest, most plaque-free mouth she'd seen in ages! She commented more than once - I'm told - on how great my husband's gums and teeth looked. So I decided to give Lou the benefit of the doubt. Instead of dismissing his claims, I thought I'd put them to the test.

   That first night, I found it really difficult to brush for a whole two minutes. But Lou gave me some good tips - like make sure not to run the water at all (because the toothbrush box said it tends to make you rush AND it wastes valuable water). The other tip was to divide your mouth up into quadrants and carefully and steadily brush each quadrant for 30 seconds. I found this process a bit difficult at first - especially since I didn't get the toothbrush with the timer built right in that conveniently beeps every 30 seconds to tell you that you need to move on to the next quadrant.

  But I pressed through the monotony and on that first night, I have to be honest, my teeth did feel much cleaner. Now, it's been about three weeks since I first started brushing for a full two minutes and I am shocked by how amazing my mouth feels! My teeth feel smooth and shiny and my tongue is always lovely and fresh! I'm so convinced that this is the right way to perfecting my oral hygiene that I'm excited to announce that today, I'm going to go buy myself a toothbrush with a built in timer on the handle!! (I plan on getting a red one - very special!)

   Oh life can be so exciting sometimes!! ;o)

Chinese Sin Erasing Tea

   We just got back from a short trip out to San Francisco, and while we were there, we spent a lot of time in China Town. The food was fantastic and I completely enjoyed looking at all of the things on sale for a "very low price" now that the Chinese New Year is over. But my favorite thing was spending time in one of the many Chinese Tea Houses. I loved sitting on one of the rickety chairs lining the outer rim of the tasting counter and listening to the little Chinaman talk as he served up itty-bitty cups of tea by the sip. I loved watching his hands as he swished the tea leaves around with the lid of the serving cup, and I was riveted by all the things he told us that the tea could do for our bodies.

  We learned that white teas are the highest in anti-oxidants and the black teas are the highest in caffeine. He poured us jasmine tea, green tea and even a special tea that looked like long twigs of greenish-colored toilet paper all twisted up, ready to unfold in hot water to help people with diabetes process sugars better. There was a rose-scented tea that was good for your complexion and another tea that came in a bark-like case that aided in digestive track issues. There was a tea for everything and every problem! So you can imagine how laser-focused I became when the little man behind the counter told me about the tea that takes away all of your sins!

   It's called Angel Tea, and our host explained that this particular tea cleanses the body of all the nasty things you put into it. I watched with wide eyes as he placed the dried flakes of tea into a bulbous-looking wineglass and then added hot water. Instantly, the flakes fanned out into beautiful, lush leaves that swayed a bit as the man swished the water around the glass. I held out my tiny tea cup to get my sip, hoping that this tea could help me get rid of the double chocolate muffin I ate earlier that day. As I swallowed that bitter sip down, I felt my hand automatically reach out for a second sip. (You see, I also had a bag of peanut M&M's on our flight out West, and I was just sure those suckers were clogging up my system.) The nice tea man obliged with a smile, and then revealed a cigarette in his pocket. He winked at me and said, "This tea pay for all my sins!"

   I just had to get some of this amazing tea to take home with me, and luckily, my husband seemed equally as impressed by the notion of a tea that could erase poor food and lifestyle choices in a few steamy gulps. So I asked the gentleman how much it would be to buy some of this heavenly Angel Tea.

    "Angel Tea is $128 per pound," he said with a proud smile. "But it worth every penny."

    While I was sure he was speaking the truth on this matter, I had to pause and analyze the price of this tea. Good heaven's that's a lot - even for tea that can actually erase what you've eaten! But before I could even react, I heard my husband ask the man for a quarter of a pound, and I suddenly felt alive inside! We could certainly afford to buy a quarter of a pound of this magical tea!! I would just have to ration it a bit and treat it like liquid gold! I felt giddy knowing that I would soon have the power to flush my body of all the naughty bites of chocolate, and the spoonfuls of Nutella I seem to be so prone to eating. 

  I can't tell you how excited I was to get back home and brew up a big cup of Angel Tea! I ate so poorly on our trip that it gave me such comfort to know that I could simply sip on some tea and all of those terribly fattening things I ate would just melt off of my hips! I mean if this tea could get rid of the negative impact of smoking for the Chinese man, why couldn't it help me out with some of my more questionable food choices? And now that I have my very own stash of this amazing tea, I don't have to limit myself to just one tiny cup - I can make a huge cup of tea, and really melt the gunk out of my body!

   On my first day back from my vacation, I got up early and boiled some water in my electric kettle. I poured a very small handful of the Angel Tea leaves into my tea strainer and pulled out the biggest mug we've got. I was going to start my day off with a clean slate, no matter how much tea I had to drink. My first mug was a little bitter, but I slurped down every gulp, willing the tea to do it's magic inside the inner workings of my body. My second mug was certainly a lot less tasty, but I figured it would take at least two mugs to really flush out my body, and in the end, I decided it would be worth getting over the way the green liquid tasted  on my tongue for these oh-so-desirable results! 

   A few hours later, I was running errands when suddenly, my stomach started to gurgle - VERY LOUDLY! Then, I started to feel the gurgling moving around and entering a section of my body that was no longer what I considered to be my stomach region (if you know what I mean!). It was almost like something gave way inside of my body and things were starting to pressurize inside of me. I literally had the vision of one of those Liquid Plumber commercials where the clog suddenly dissolves and everything starts to flow!! It was all I could do to make it back to our condo in time before the "pipes" inside my abdomen burst!

   Several hours later, I had gone through an entire roll of toilet paper and was doubled over on my bed with roiling stomach cramps. I felt my forehead glistening with sweat as I did my best to stave off another wave of nausea and I found myself praying to ask God to forgive me for believing that I could actually erase my bad choices with a few cups of tea. I know it takes more willpower than I have these days to make good choices, and I was simply foolish to think there was a tea that could eliminate the consequences of all the junky things I've been eating these days!

   That's when I started to wonder if maybe the only sin this Chinese Sin Erasing Tea couldn't wipe clean was the sin of gluttony! (Because stupidity isn't technically a sin!!)

 

 

American Grammar Crisis

    Here is a serious question I need to pose to the world - well, to the "world" of people who actually check my blog from time to time, that is! What is going on in America when it comes to grammar usage? Are our teachers slacking off when it comes to educating our children on the proper tense and usage of commonly used words in the English language? What gives? Are we getting to be too politically correct to grammatically correct people anymore? Or is this some kind of new trend I don't know about? Is speaking without following the rules the new "in" way to talk - somewhat like Snoop Dogg's era of adding the suffix "izzle" to the endings of his words? I can't really say because I'm simply stumped!

   Recently, I was speaking with a very well-educated gentleman (at least I thought he was!). He was sharing a story with me about a car accident he witnessed earlier that day. I literally thought I heard the terrible  screeching sound of tires locking up on asphalt when he said, "All I seen was the car coming at me!" Oh dear! How in the world could he say that? Even now, as I write this entry, I have no idea if the car he "seen" coming at him actually hit him because I never fully recovered from the major mental skid-marks his grammar left on my brain! I can't be completely sure that my head didn't jerk back when I heard what he said, and perhaps it is the very reason I woke up the next day with a stiff neck. (I'm guessing whiplash?)

   But here is the real issue: Do you correct someone in the midst of such an infraction? Or do you just let it slip? What is the moral obligation here?

   I've tossed this concern around a bit in my head, and also with a close friend of mine who has a grammatically incorrect abuser in her life as well, and the thing is, neither of us can figure out the right answer to this one. How do you handle this with grace and care for the person misusing our fine English language? And why does this bother me so much?

   I know I'm not perfect - after all, I do happen to be the published author with a list of documented mistakes in my published book!! Who am I to talk, right? So clearly, I can easily and humbly concede the point that we all make mistakes in our spoken (and written) language. But the truth is, many of the things we accept these days as correct English usage are in fact incorrect. 

    For example: When someone asks you, "How are you?" the common reply nowadays is, "I'm good." But the grammatically correct response is, "I'm well." But no one seems to care anymore, and in fact, when I say I'm well, sometimes people look at me like I made the mistake!!

   So what do I do? Is leading by example enough? Or does a true grammar warrior need to be braver (versus "more brave" - which is what many would say, but, as it turns out, would fall under the category of improper grammar usage)?

   I guess the real reason this question is such a burning one for me is because I think I would want to know if I was speaking with glaringly poor grammar! I'm quite sure that I would want to know that there was a way to make myself sound better to my listeners! And I would hate it if people were judging me by what I'm saying improperly versus listening to the very intelligent things I'm actually trying my best to communicate!! 

   It reminds me of the time that I was walking around the mall with a HUGE piece of spinach stuck between my two front teeth. I happened to notice the mass of vegetation when I made a mad dash into Chicos (I was only in there because I was in search of a chunky belt!). As I was combing through the tangle of belts on sale, I happened to catch my reflection in the chrome of the display rack. There it was. A huge chunk of dark green spinach, wedge between my pearly whites. I quickly started using my tongue and created some suction in my mouth to try to remove the chunk without the use of my fingers, but my heart was sinking as I realized that it had been over an hour since I ate lunch! I had visited several shops during that time, and even engaged sales people in conversation!! How could anyone let a fellow human walk around like that? Where is the humanity in that? 

   Well, I don't know the right answer about the grammar issue, but as you can see, it is a serious issue to consider. Maybe someone out there can tell me what to do. But in the meantime, I challenge my readers to choose your words with care. Take some pride in your language choices and set an example. And for heaven's sake, if you see a woman with a huge chunk of food between her teeth, TELL HER ABOUT IT!! (We can always work on the grammar later!!)