Recently, I was speaking with a very well-educated gentleman (at least I thought he was!). He was sharing a story with me about a car accident he witnessed earlier that day. I literally thought I heard the terrible screeching sound of tires locking up on asphalt when he said, "All I seen was the car coming at me!" Oh dear! How in the world could he say that? Even now, as I write this entry, I have no idea if the car he "seen" coming at him actually hit him because I never fully recovered from the major mental skid-marks his grammar left on my brain! I can't be completely sure that my head didn't jerk back when I heard what he said, and perhaps it is the very reason I woke up the next day with a stiff neck. (I'm guessing whiplash?)
But here is the real issue: Do you correct someone in the midst of such an infraction? Or do you just let it slip? What is the moral obligation here?
I've tossed this concern around a bit in my head, and also with a close friend of mine who has a grammatically incorrect abuser in her life as well, and the thing is, neither of us can figure out the right answer to this one. How do you handle this with grace and care for the person misusing our fine English language? And why does this bother me so much?
I know I'm not perfect - after all, I do happen to be the published author with a list of documented mistakes in my published book!! Who am I to talk, right? So clearly, I can easily and humbly concede the point that we all make mistakes in our spoken (and written) language. But the truth is, many of the things we accept these days as correct English usage are in fact incorrect.
For example: When someone asks you, "How are you?" the common reply nowadays is, "I'm good." But the grammatically correct response is, "I'm well." But no one seems to care anymore, and in fact, when I say I'm well, sometimes people look at me like I made the mistake!!
So what do I do? Is leading by example enough? Or does a true grammar warrior need to be braver (versus "more brave" - which is what many would say, but, as it turns out, would fall under the category of improper grammar usage)?
I guess the real reason this question is such a burning one for me is because I think I would want to know if I was speaking with glaringly poor grammar! I'm quite sure that I would want to know that there was a way to make myself sound better to my listeners! And I would hate it if people were judging me by what I'm saying improperly versus listening to the very intelligent things I'm actually trying my best to communicate!!
It reminds me of the time that I was walking around the mall with a HUGE piece of spinach stuck between my two front teeth. I happened to notice the mass of vegetation when I made a mad dash into Chicos (I was only in there because I was in search of a chunky belt!). As I was combing through the tangle of belts on sale, I happened to catch my reflection in the chrome of the display rack. There it was. A huge chunk of dark green spinach, wedge between my pearly whites. I quickly started using my tongue and created some suction in my mouth to try to remove the chunk without the use of my fingers, but my heart was sinking as I realized that it had been over an hour since I ate lunch! I had visited several shops during that time, and even engaged sales people in conversation!! How could anyone let a fellow human walk around like that? Where is the humanity in that?
Well, I don't know the right answer about the grammar issue, but as you can see, it is a serious issue to consider. Maybe someone out there can tell me what to do. But in the meantime, I challenge my readers to choose your words with care. Take some pride in your language choices and set an example. And for heaven's sake, if you see a woman with a huge chunk of food between her teeth, TELL HER ABOUT IT!! (We can always work on the grammar later!!)
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