I am the Butterfly Maiden

    Several nights ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to be with a group of women who formed their very own goddess group. It was amazing to sit with these women -- who were all new to me except one -- and discover that we could all share and connect so easily. I think we were created to be nurtured by one another as women, and that night, that was just what I needed!

   Part of the time together involved drawing a goddess card. I have to confess, when I first got the stack, I held it face-side-up and the card on top was the one I really wanted. It said something about success, and with all the things going on in my life right now with my novel, it was my first reaction to snag that sentiment and hold on to it and make it my own! But I was able to restrain myself because I decided it would be more interesting to find out what card I was supposed to get. So I flipped the deck over, face-down, shuffled it a bit and then drew out my card. It was a gorgeous card with a tall, thin woman with flowing black hair, surrounded by butterflies. She was called the Butterfly Maiden and what she stood for was transformation.

   As I held the card and studied it for a bit, there was of course the obvious fit that my life is about to change with my book and all the opportunities lining up for me. But when I really tried to drop in and consider what I could learn from the idea of transformation in my life, it dawned on me that after a four days of working on my family, maybe this was the signal of transformation for all of us, not just me! 

   As I stated in a previous entry, my ideas about blending a family were a little unrealistic. I think I hoped that my stepsons would "love" me and "embrace" me, and that ultimately, we would have harmony in our home. But now I realize that harmony is just a nice concept if it doesn't come with truth. And just like the journey a butterfly must take from cocoon to spreading it's wings, I must allow myself and my family the grace to morph into something different and new. I don't have the luxury to choose what color the butterfly will be, but I have faith that whatever the outcome, the transformation will be beautiful in it's own unique way. It is going to take time, that's for sure, but there is such hope in the knowing that we can change and that we can transform from something that isn't working into something that holds all of our hopes. 

   So as I work this week on allowing God to move in my life and in the lives of my husband and his boys, I want to hold on to the idea that I am the Butterfly Maiden for a reason!